Disillusioned & Disconnected

"Look at me in the eyes and tell me that you're happy with life, when you don't feel safe unless you carry a knife. There's a lot of places worse than the endz to a certain extent but that doesn't mean nothing when they murder your friends. It's all a mess, there's no morals left, we've got 12 year old girls out having sex" Lowkey

I haven't blogged in a while. I feel blogging is a chance for me to vent when I need it as opposed to a weekly update.

The Lowkey lyrics above have always resonated with me for the simple fact that they are inexplicably truthful and uncomfortable. Young people are carrying knives and are having sex and the perpetrators are getting younger and younger.

The disillusionment I felt this week after working with a young person has had a huge impact on how I will work with young people going forward. A young person who before my very eyes went from an angry, violent and aggressive person to a distressed, lost and confused child in the space of 20 minutes has caused me to truly question several things.

1) How have our young people become so scared for their own safety that they feel they need to carry such sinister and brutal weapons to protect themselves?

2) Why do we so often fail to recognise that beneath all the exterior of our young people, that they are children and that children need love, discipline and guidance in order to flourish?

3) How do we break such an ingrained knife culture when even the death of loved ones fails as a deterrent?

4) How do we reinstall to young people the value of a life? Both their own life and the life of another.

5) Why are our most vulnerable young people so neglected and who is responsible for them?

6) Why are children no longer allowed to be children? Where have childhood innocence and societies moral compass gone?

These are just some of the questions I have been asking myself and I don't have the answers. I am a confident man and have always held  onto the fact that I understand young people and what they are going through. I really had to step back today and question that view which has caused me a real discomfort and much disillusionment. I'm not seeking answers or morale boosts from this post. I simply want people to consider the questions for themselves.

I believe God has called me to work amongst these young people and for that reason He is working all these things for good. I am trying to "be still" and know that God is in control (Psalm 46:10)

However I'm human and I am really struggling to comprehend just how our young people have been allowed to become so marginalised and disconnected from life.

I have been sent some verses by loved ones tonight that have been an encouragement.

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."
2 Corinthians 4:8-9

When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord , supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.
Psalm 94:18-19

I hope that over the next days and weeks I am able to cling to these comforts in His Word and continue trying to make a positive impact among London's young people.

The Need for More Compassion

"I think one of the best words in the English language is 'compassion.' I think it holds everything. It holds love, it holds care... and if everybody just did something. We all make a difference." Michael Crawford

I have never really been into politics. I have always found it baffling how the people who make the country's decisions are so out of touch and desensitised to every day people and every day life.

I have never had much time or interest in the news or media either. Since I was a child I felt we were only being told a fraction of what was happening and that very often we were given these horrific headlines and stories, passing lots of blame, but never really investigating the bigger picture. It amazed me how a story would dominate for a week and then you would never hear of the situation again. The Boko Haram kidnapping of the Nigerian school girls is a recent example I can think of.

Over the past few months the British government and British mediasresponse to the refugees fleeing war torn countries such as Syria and Iraq has been despicable. While I have never had much care for politics or media I have always had a strong care and love for people.

These people have been verbally battered by government officials. Described as if they are rats and locusts. A "swarm" invading the land. When in fact they are refugees risking their very lives in the search for security and freedom that cannot be found at home.

The media has led a vicious fear mongering campaign showing zero compassion for these vulnerable and desperate people and instead focused on selfish and arrogant defiance of an issue. Absolving blame and refusing to acknowledge cause they have honed in on "immigrants" and the lies of a  desire for benefits rather than a desire to simply live in peace. They are only now beginning to show some empathy! After months and months of distasteful headlines and reports now they want to be compassionate. The hypocrisy is shameful and they should be held accountable.

Two images have struck me in recent days. The first is of the young child, not migrant or immigrant, but a child. He is washed up on a Greek beach having drowned fleeing Syria via Turkey. Having holidayed on the island of Kos where this poor boy was found feels very surreal. 

The other is of German football fans at a number of stadiums holding banners high at matches stating they welcome refugees.

Two very powerful images. One shows the truly incomprehensible measures people in Syria and other areas of the Middle East are going to in order to reach Europe. How desperate must you be to risk not only your own life, but the life of your child, to consider it a better option to flee home and attempt to be smuggled across Europe by land and sea. Than stay put.

It also demonstrated to me that everyday people, such as football fans care about people. And even if our governments and media refuse to show compassion then at least we as individuals and a community can extend love, warmth and compassion to them.

Are we not all human? Would we not want help were we ever in desperate need? I hope we as society can open our arms up to help those we can. That we do not turn people away or bury our heads in the sand. That we recognise these are people!

Jesus said “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”(Matthew 11:28-30)

I hope that these poor people find rest. They must be so burdened by worry and fear. They must be so tired fleeing home in search for peace and comfort.

I pray we as a society may look to extend love and compassion towards them. That we follow the example Jesus set and as a nation do all we can to help.

Jesus was not only offering the release of the burden and weariness of this life. He was in fact offering a release from the burden of sin and the weariness of a life with no hope.

I pray that people around the world no matter their situation would come to Jesus and know that true and eternal peace that can only be found in Him through his sacrifice at Calvary. That he can take all our worries cares and burdens upon himself and we can be free.

Results in Perspective

"Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself." - John Dewey

It seems like just yesterday I was picking up my GCSE results, the fact that its been 10 years is actually quite terrifying.

Those tests and those results were daunting because of the pressures school and society placed on them. It felt as though the letter I received in relation to those tests not only defined my intelligence but also my identity and how my life would turn out.

Safe to say with hindsight and life experience the grade from a test, in and of itself, is no scale by which to measure a person.

It's the common misconception, people who get As are more intelligent and harder working than those stupid and lazy people who only managed Es & Fs. 

If you sat your GCSEs and got A*s and As galore a sincere well done to you. If you sat your GCSE and got a D when you were predicted an F. An equal amount of praise is deserved. No? Surely?! While the grade may not be as impressive the work ethic and study deserves significant and equal praise to an A does it not?

To achieve a D or an E, or to even just turn up to the exam is a massive achievement for many young people who have received their results today. It's not cheesey and its not an "everyone's a winner" mentality. It's just the reality of it. A young person should not be made to feel that the letter they receive from a GCSE is a indication of their character.

In society and in the education system this is not promoted. Many young people are made to feel that they should define themselves by their grades. A sad view in my opinion.

I am am advocate of hard work, of resilience, of fortitude and of perseverance. Which is why I am so immensely proud of the young people who I work with today. These are the characteristics that myself and my amazing colleagues seek to instill and promote on a daily basis and our young people have shown them in abundance. 

If you were to cast your eyes down the results spreadsheet you would see more Es than you'd see at a house rave! But these Es are a huge achievement because these learners weren't even supposed to make it to the exam hall.

One of my learners got a D! She came to us 2 years ago on an F. Has had her ups and downs, suffers from depression, alcohol and drug misuse but has worked so hard and achieved a D. The smile on her face this morning was infectious.

Another young girl is the primary carer for her mother and also cares for her younger siblings. She also secured a D despite attendance being below 70% due to family commitments.

One young man, had been removed from 2 schools and a PRU (Pupil Referral Unit) before joining us. Today he received a B. Highly deserved amidst his battle to get out of a lifestyle of gangs, violence and negative peer groups.

GCSEs are useful. I am not discrediting them. They serve a purpose no doubt. I push every learner to try their best and apply themselves. But they should not be used as an indication of who a young person is. Or what they will become.

The biggest test these young people and indeed we all face is life itself.

My favourite verse is Job 23 v 10 "But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold."

As a Christian it's a great comfort to know that my life with its ups and downs is in the hand of God. That he will give me nothing I can't handle and that in difficult times I can call out to Him to help me through. In the good times I can praise Him for his goodness to me.

My identity as a Christian, is not in my GCSEs, my A-Levels or my job. It's in Jesus Christ, my Lord and Saviour.

Surprised by Joy

"I call it Joy, which is here a technical term and must be sharply distinguished both from Happiness and from Pleasure....Joy is never in our power and pleasure often is"
CS Lewis

How often do we experience true Joy!? Joy in its purest form? An unparalleled feeling that surpasses any expectations, any circumstances and has an ability to transcend our very being?!

We can often be happy, content, excited and enthusiastic. But joy is something detached from these things. Its pure and wholesome. Joy is often a rare occurence. Too often we are searching for it but looking in all the wrong places.

To find joy we look towards pleasure. Maybe we attempt to titilate our senses or perhaps we endeavour to achieve a feel good factor. But pleasure whilst causing a temporary feeling of happiness or excitement fails to manifest true joy.

This week I was surprised by joy. It swept me off my feet and rendered me speechless. If I'm honest it was 6 years ago this month that I last felt such a joy in my life. It's been there these last 6 years but too often it's been covered.

I was reminded this week of the joy of Jesus. Don't stop reading here non-Christian friends!!! 6 years ago this month I became a Christian, the sense of joy I felt was amazing. In a time when my life was in much turmoil I felt a sense of peace and joy in the midst of an awful storm.

Sadly as Christians we can lose sight of that joy by allowing our joy to be dimmed by the sin in our lives and cultural pessimism (that we can mistake for human realism). And that Joy of Jesus we experience after conversion, can after time become watered down and diluted.

But this week my 33 year old brother,  who has certainly "lived life" told me he had himself become a Christian. That he could no longer "deny the truth" and "deny Jesus". The joy in his voice took me back 6 years. It was that same tone of voice I had back then. The reminder of the joy that can only be found in Jesus was brilliantly powerful! He was not pessimistic or nervous. He was bold and joyful to proclaim that Jesus is in his life.

I thank God he is a Christian and that I can share in his joy with him. I thank God for his goodness, patience and love to a terror of a family. For my mum's incredible Christian witness and most of all for the Lord Jesus Christ and the true and eternal joy that can only be found in Him.

Joy. True joy. Is Jesus.

"Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."
Psalm 51 v 12